Getting over the hump...

There’s so much to tell you. Where to start? I hope you don’t mind if I skip ahead a few weeks to this week and go back…

This week has been by far my most difficult week here. I have cried almost everyday, if not twice. When I woke up on Tuesday morning, at my usual 530am, to do my workout before getting ready for school, I felt not right. I didn’t know what is was but I decided I’d take the morning off and just read until breakfast. After breakfast I headed off to school for the day and after school attended our one hour Dangme class(I’ll write on this later I promise). After class I had asked my best friend/co-teacher if we could go visit our student, David, who had not been in class for two weeks due to sickness, of course she said yes. When we arrive to David’s house his sister said when she returned home from school David was not at the house nor were their parents so they realized David was taken to the hospital again. With this information we could do nothing but return home, pray for David and come again the next day.
At this point I should explain since I arrived here in Ghana I have struggled with seeing the sick and sickness. I knew coming here that I was going to be exposed to new sicknesses and different methods of healing, healthcare just wasn’t going to be the same. Something I didn’t realize though was how much of a profound affect seeing the children I taught or seen around the school daily falling sick would have on me. Each day I check the register(attendance sheet/feeding collection record) and each day my eyes are always focused on those who have the circles by their names, absent is what that means. And each day I check again to see if there is another circle or if the student has returned. I was also told that lately, because it is the rainy season, there is more children sick then in the other semesters of the year. Trying to take that into consideration, I can’t eliminated my worries one little bit. I feel helpless. Some students, well most student still come to school when they are sick. Well as I said this is my struggle so when I do have students out for a week or two, visiting them if they live in the village is definitely what I’ve been trying to do.
After my friend dropped me at my house on our way back from attempt to visit David, one of the children I visit with sometimes came by the house. I realized that she lived with one of my other students who had been out over a week so tagged along and walked her home. When I showed up at this student’s house the mother said she sent her to fetch medicine so I sat down and waited her return. While I sat the mother started talking to me. She asked me why I didn’t come yesterday and send her daughter to the hospital; this kind of caught me like a left hook. Then she went on to say if she sends her daughter to school tomorrow will I bring her medicine.
Well after my failed visit to David’s I was upset enough to find out he was taken to hospital again and now to have a mother asking me to pay for her hospital visit and medicine for her daughter, it was all too much. Well at this point in my story I have two unsuccessful visits to my students and have an internal battle happening inside me so I hit the hay early.
When my alarm went off the next morning I noticed I had a missed message on my phone so I opened it and immediately I was glowing. My sister had her baby, Gage Daniel, 9 pounds, born at 622pm the night before! I was ecstatic, sad I missed it but ecstatic. I was so excited for all the other girls to wake up so I could tell them but it was only 530 and the others didn’t get out of bed till 7. Well again I wasn’t feeling well, it wasn’t I was sick but it wasn’t a feeling good feeling, I felt weird I can’t explain it but for a second day I held off on my morning workout.
Seven o’clock rolled by quickly though as I did some reading and got ready for school but then there was a knock on my door, breakfast is ready I thought. But when it opened it was my best friend/co-teacher. We exchanged our good mornings and that’s when I knew something was up. She went on to tell me that David had died late into the night at the hospital and that his funeral was going to be that day. Holding myself together as much as possible I said alright and she was gone to tell our headmaster.
Once my door closed I burst into tears. I was just there to visit yesterday. We were going to visit him today. An hour and a half ago I was just on a high and now the day turned bittersweet. I pulled myself together to make sure I was at class on time, ready to be there for the students as well as friends but when I arrived it was class as any other day.
There was much more to this day, David was buried in the late afternoon and we as the nursery/the school attended his funeral. The kids sung for him, danced for him and were all there for him. I broke down to, I’m embarrassed to say, be picked up by David’s family.
As I said this day was very bittersweet for me. A new beautiful baby boy was brought into my life while another beautiful boy was taken out. It really is mysterious the way God works. (With this I’d like to ask that everyone reading to please keep David and his family in your prayers and I want to remind everyone to make sure you don’t wait until someone’s sick to visit, do it now)
But my week is not over… well. I woke up the next day with the worst headache and earache I’ve ever had and I was running a temperature. I laid in bed most of the day and on Canada Day went to the hospital. They did blood tests and they showed negative for malaria but as I write to you I am on meds for malaria because the doctor said just because it didn’t show in my blood he feels all the symptoms are there so wants to treat me for it. I’ve been in bed the past two days and am happy to say I feel a bit better.
Now to deal with the other things that is beating me up… my brother is getting married today and I’m missing it. This wasn’t a planned thing, a situation arose at home and he is doing the right thing getting married, I am just very very very sad I am missing it. I feel like the worst sister in the world and I want to send out the biggest apology and congratulations to him and his new WIFE! You both are such beautiful people and I am so happy for the two of you.
I’m sorry for this upsetting post but in the beginning I said home is where the heart is and this was my home so I hope you can read my story and understand where I’m at right now. I knew things were going to be tough and I did have to read my bad day letter but things will get better, they always do. I’m just trying to focus on the good but had to let out the bad for first. Love you all and I’ll write again soon it’ll be cool stuff I promise!